I'm Just Like Everybody Else. I Have

Doctors Tell Me I Have The Body Of A Thirty Year Old. I Know I Have The Brain Of A Fifteen Year Old. If You've Got Both, You Can Play Baseball.

Sliding Headfirst Is The Safest Way To Get To The Next Base, I Think, And The Fastest. You Don't Lose Your Momentum, And There's One More Important Reason I Slide Headfirst, It Gets My Picture In The Paper.

You Know What God Told The Cubs? Don't Do Anything Until I Come Back.

See The Ball; Hit The Ball.

Some Players You Pat Their Butts, Some Players You Kick Their Butts, Some Players You Leave Alone.