I'm Not The Comic Of The Generation,

For A Long Time The People At My Shows Were Sort Of The Pantera-tattoo Trucker Guys, Really Cool Dudes, But I Don't Know What Happened To Them. That's The Crowd That I Like, The Ones That Don't Get So Offended Just To Be Offended.

I Have No Grand Scheme.

A Joke Is A Joke, And People Put Too Much Meaning Behind It. They React To It In The Wrong Way. I Mean, You Can Boo Or Laugh, And That's Pretty Much What You're Supposed To Do With Jokes. You're Not Supposed To Take It Any Further Than That.

Things Have Been Invented Because Of Alcohol. Like The Taser, Okay? Yeah! The Morning After Pill, Okay? The Reach-around. Judge Judy. What Has Pot Given The World? Hackey Sack? Yeah! Hilarious Ring Tones? Oh Gah! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It Sucks To Be A Champion At A Sport That Can't Get You Laid. It's An Unneeded Skill Like, I Dunno, Being The Best Banjo Player. Or A Squirter.

For Me, Molly Hatchet Is High School. It Makes Me Feel Like I Have Hair And A Future.