I'm Not Trying To Be A Big

Your Only Guidepost Is Your Own Instinct And Judicious Editing. In My Stand-up Act I Learned That In The First 10 Minutes I Could Say Anything And It Would Get A Laugh. Then I'd Better Deliver. In The Movie It's The Same Thing. You Get A Lot Of Laughs When People First Sit Down And Then The Story Better Kick In. Many Years In Front Of An Audience, I Would Hope, Give Me A Sense Of What Works.

A Celebrity Is Any Well-known Tv Or Movie Star Who Looks Like He Spends More Than Two Hours Working On His Hair.

I Couldn't See His Face, Because The Light Came In From Behind Him And He Was In Shadow, And He Said, "i Am Picasso." And I Said, "well, So What?

I Got A Flue Shot And Now My Chimney Works Perfectly.

I've Put An Umbrella In My Mouth And Opened It. I Sat In A Lemon-meringue Pie. I've Done Terrible Things To My Dog With A Fork.