I'm So Excited About The New Ipad,

He Was In Awe Of The Thirst That People Had For Someone To Tell Them That Everything Was Going To Be All Right. He Marveled At The Gullibility And Vulnerability Of His Fellow Humans. No Wonder The Churches Called Them Sheep. They Were Woolly-headed Pack Animals Being Herded Around For The Benefit Of Whoever Knew How To Control The Dogs.

A New Study Says By 2030 Household Robots Will Dominate Every Phase Of Our Lives. The Study Says The No. 1 Field For Robot Growth Is Medicine. That Makes Sense. Robots Already Perform Well In Surgery. That Is, Until There Is A Power Outage. Then It's Just A Coat Rack Leaning Over You As You Bleed To Death.

If It Doesn't Work, At Least It Will Be An Interesting Train Wreck.

These Days, Teachers Have It Rough. Kids Can Be Hyperactive, Disobedient, And Obnoxious. It Must Feel Like Being Locked In A Room Of Drunk Midgets.

I Think Holidays Create So Much Pressure Because People Feel They Should Be Having A Good Time. But You Shouldn't.