I'm Telling You That At Eight She

Your Proudest Moment Is To Watch Your Egg Not Just Function, But To Achieve On Her Own.

I Caused My Husband's Heart Attack. In The Middle Of Lovemaking I Took The Paper Bag Off My Head. He Dropped The Polaroid And Keeled Over And So Did The Hooker. It Would Have Taken Me Half An Hour To Untie Myself And Call The Paramedics, But Fortunately The Great Dane Could Dial.

[when Told That Her Grandchild Had Her Nose:] I Didn't Get This Nose Until I Was Thirty-four.

Life Is Hard. And We Better Laugh At Everything, Otherwise We're Going Down The Tube.

I Love The Way My Life Has Fallen Into Place.