I'm Terrible At Heights. I Hate It.

Four Years Ago On This Very Day I Tried To Take My Own Life. And I Said, "zach, Do It In Front Of Your Co-workers And End The Misery." I Don't Know How Many Of You Ever Tried To Jump Off Of A Pizza Hut, But You'll Just Get A Sprained Ankle Out Of The Deal. Then You'll Have To Go Back Inside, And Serve Crazy Bread.

I Want To Do Another Reality Show. It's Based On The Mole. It's About Sexually Transmitted Diseases. It's Called "god, I Hope That's A Mole."

But Comedy Is Like Music, It Appeals To Some People. Some People Like Creed, Those People Are Usually Pretty Stupid. But They Probably Also Like Carrot Top. I Would Say That They're Part Of The Same Ilk.

I Don't Want To Do An Edgy Show, I Didn't Want Bad Language. I Think Edginess Is The New Hackiness.

My Dad Doesn't Get Any Of My Jokes. He Laughs At Them, But He Doesn't Understand Them. He's Just Laughing Because People Around Him Are Laughing.