I'm The Audience's Representative On Earth.

You Must Always Steal, But Only From The Best People. Steal Any Trick That Looks Worthwhile. If You See Vivien Leigh Or Robert Deniro Or Meryl Streep Do Something Stunningly Effective, And You Can Analyze How He Or She Did It, Then Pinch It. Because You Can Be Sure That They Stole It In The First Place.

A Lot Of My Best Parts I've Been The Second Choice For, So You Never Get Too Egotistical About Anything.

When I Was 6 My Father Went To Fight In The War, So He Was My Big Hero. I Thought He Was The Greatest Thing.

Alfie Was The First Time I Was Above The Title; The First Time I Became A Star In America.

If You're A Gardener You Don't Need A Gym. [...] You're Always Carrying Large Sacks Of Manure All Over.