I'm The Woman Who Used To Think

Keep At Least One Window Pane Clean To Check The Weather. Once When I Didn't Do This I Sent The Kids Off With Umbrellas For Six Weeks Straight.

Nothing Was Happening In The Bedroom. I Nicknamed Our Waterbed The Dead Sea.

Comedy Is Tragedy Revisited Or Hostility. It Is Mock Hostility, Of Course, Or It Would Be Ugly; We Would Have A War.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.

You Want To Look Younger... Rent Smaller Children.