I'm Too Nervous To Eat Before I

There Are Two Types Of People In This World: One Who Opens A Packet Of Biscuits, Has One And Puts The Rest Back In The Cupboard, And One Who Eats The Whole Packet In One Go.

There Are 10-20 Times More Male Comics Than Female Comics; It's Something To Do With The Social Structure Of Society.

As A Comic And As A Nurse, It's Important To Look Calm On The Surface When You're Absolutely Crapping Yourself Inside. So, If Someone Is Waving A Machete At You, Which Has Happened To Me When I Was A Nurse, It's Important To Make That Person Feel That You're In Control.

For A Long Time, People Assumed I Was Gay, So When I Got Married The Press Were All A Bit Shocked And Made A Big Deal Of It - And Ditto When I Had Children. I Felt Very Much Under The Microscope With Paps Outside The House Taking Pictures Of Me Getting The Baby Out Of The Car, It Was Excruciating. I Remember Getting Her Out Of The Car Seat And Thinking 'oh God I'm Going To Drop Her And They're Going To Take A Picture'. I Was So Nervous. Those Sorts Of Things Are Really Hard.

I Have Such Admiration For Single Mothers. I Simply Don't Comprehend How You'd Cope With That Intensity, The Lack Of Breaks, Ever, On Your Own.