I'm Very Resilient. The Only Thing I'm

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.

I Want To See Toby Maguire Fight Christian Bale.

A Weekend In Vegas Without Gambling And Drinking Is Just Like Being A Born-again Christian.