I Miss My Mattress When I Am

Until Eve Arrived, This Was A Man's World.

Rather Than Earn Money, It Was Thoreau's Idea To Reduce His Wants So That He Would Not Need To Buy Anything. As He Went Around Preaching This Ingenious Idea, The Shopkeepers Of Concord Hoped He Would Drop Dead.

There Is No Balm Of Gilead, No Salve, No Soothing Ointment To Stay The Pain Of One Who's Had In Love A Disappointment-- Unless It Be That Healing Lotion Of Fixing On A New Devotion.

Book Burning Is A Charming Old Custom, Hallowed By Antiquity. It Has Been Practiced For Centuries By Fascists, Communists, Atheists, School Children, Rival Authors, And Tired Librarians. Like Everything Of Importance Since The Invention Of The Cloak And The Shroud, Its Origins Are Cloaked In Mystery And Shrouded In Secrecy. Some Scholars Believe That The First Instance Of Book Burning Occurred In The Middle Ages, When A Monk Was Trying To Illuminate A Manuscript. All Agree That Book Burning Was Almost Non-existent During The Period When Books Were Made Of Stone.

There Is Some Consolation In The Fact That, Even Though Your Dreams Don't Come True, Neither Do Your Nightmares.