I Never Drank Anything Stronger Than Beer

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

Always Carry A Flagon Of Whiskey In Case Of Snakebite, And Furthermore Always Carry A Small Snake.

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.

I Never Drink Water... Fish F**k In It.

Children Should Neither Be Seen Or Heard From - Ever Again.