I Never Knew What An Engineer Did

Every Generation Of Humans Believed It Had All The Answers It Needed, Except For A Few Mysteries They Assumed Would Be Solved At Any Moment. And They All Believed Their Ancestors Were Simplistic And Deluded. What Are The Odds That You Are The First Generation Of Humans Who Will Understand Reality ?

If You Haven't Already Told Your Kids 'don't Fellate The President' Then You're Probably A Bad Parent.

Recently I Quit Caffeine. My Doctor Seems To Think That 17 Diet Cokes Per Day Is Too Much. In Case You Ever Consider Getting Off Caffeine Yourself, Let Me Explain The Process. You Begin By Sitting Motionlessly In A Desk Chair. Then You Just Keep Doing That Forever Because Life Has No Meaning.

I Calculated The Total Time That Humans Have Waited For Web Pages To Load. It Cancels Out All The Productivity Gains Of The Information Age. Sometimes I Think The Web Is A Big Plot To Keep People Like Me Away From Normal Society.

Most Success Springs From An Obstacle Or Failure.