I Often Try To Tell Kids To

Nobody Ever Says, "can I Have Your Beets?

I Said To A Guy, "tell Me, What Is It About Cocaine That Makes It So Wonderful," And He Said, "because It Intensifies Your Personality." I Said, "yes, But What If You're An Asshole?"

My Wife Was A Beautiful Woman Before We Had Children.

Dentists Tell You Not To Pick Your Teeth With Any Sharp Metal Object. Then You Sit In Their Chair And The First Thing They Grab Is An Iron Hook.

It Is A Point Of Pride For The American Male To Keep The Same Size Jockey Shorts For His Entire Life.