I Played Golf... I Did Not Get

I Like Vending Machines, Because Snacks Are Better When They Fall.

I Tried To Have A Cookie, And This Girl Said, "i'm Mailing Those Cookies To My Friend." So I Couldn't Have One. You Shouldn't Make Cookies Untouchable.

I Love My Fed-ex Guy Cause He's A Drug Dealer And He Don't Even Know It...and He's Always On Time.

They Could Take Sesame Seeds Off The Market And I Wouldn't Even Care. I Can't Imagine 5 Years From Now Saying, "remember Sesame Seeds? What Happened? All The Buns Are Blank!"

I Think Pringles Initial Intention Was To Make Tennis Balls. But On The Day That The Rubber Was Supposed To Show Up, A Big Truckload Of Potatoes Arrived. But Pringles Is A Laid Back Company. They Said, "screw It. Cut 'em Up!"