I Predict One Of These Two Teams

Any Misfortune That Happens To Another Person Is Funny. If It Happens To Someone Else And Not Me, It's Very Funny.

You Can Say "ass," But You Can't Say "asshole." That's Why I Always Cringe When A Character In A Tv Show Refers To Someone As An "ass." Unless You're British, Calling Someone An Ass Really Doesn't Work. But Those Are The Rules Of Television. You Can Be A Dirtbag, But Not A Scumbag.

I Don't Know If I Change My Act From Century To Century. Sometimes I'm Onstage Doing Imitations And References To People Who Have Been Dead For 50 Years.

I Guess If They Ever Do A Remake Of 'sophie's Choice,' I Could Play The Meryl Streep Part. I've Got To Work On My Polish Accent. Maybe I'll Be The Definitive King Lear One Day. You Know, If They Ever Feel That King Lear Should Be More Jewy.

I Remember Being At The Premiere Of 'beverly Hills Cop Ii' And The Tremendous Reaction From The Crowd Outside, Then Going To A Party At A Hotel Afterwards Where The Speakers Were Blasting 'shakedown,' A Song From The Movie. That Felt Like A Show Biz Moment To Me.