I Put A Dollar In One Of

Scientists Announced Today That They Have Discovered A Cure For Apathy. However, They Claim No One Has Shown The Slightest Interest In It.

The Child Molester Skipped Breakfast, But Said He'd Grab A Little Something On The Way To Work.

I Look At It This Way... For Centuries Now, Man Has Done Everything He Can To Destroy, Defile, And Interfere With Nature: Clear-cutting Forests, Strip-mining Mountains, Poisoning The Atmosphere, Over-fishing The Oceans, Polluting The Rivers And Lakes, Destroying Wetlands And Aquifers... So When Nature Strikes Back, And Smacks Him On The Head And Kicks Him In The Nuts, I Enjoy That. I Have Absolutely No Sympathy For Human Beings Whatsoever. None. And No Matter What Kind Of Problem Humans Are Facing, Whether It's Natural Or Man-made, I Always Hope It Gets Worse.

Regarding The Fitness Craze: America Has Lost Its Soul; Now It's Trying To Save Its Body.

In Tv Today, You Can Say I Pricked My Finger, But You Can't Say It The Other Way Around.