I Really Think Guys Only Need Two

If It Weren't For My Imagination, I Would Weigh Ten Thousand Pounds. This Is Because The Only Way I Am Able To Exercise Anymore Is Through A Long And Vivid Revenge Fantasy.

You Should Know I Disagree With A Lot Of Traditional Advice. For Instance, They Say The Best Revenge Is Living Well. I Say It’s Acid In The Face—who Will Love Them Now?

If I’m At A Party Where I’m Not Enjoying Myself, I Will Put Some Cookies In My Jacket Pocket And Leave Without Saying Good-bye.

Of Course, Everyone Wants To Be Mythologized In A Great Way.

If You're A Kid Who Was Not Especially A Star In Your High School, I Recommend Going To A College In The Middle Of Nowhere. I Got All The Attention I Could Ever Have Wanted.