I Really Think Guys Only Need Two

When I Was Growing Up, I Didn't Do Plays In Downtown Boston, And My Parents Weren't Putting Me In Auditions. They Never Thought, Oh, She Has A Gift! They Never Thought Of Me As An Entertainer When I Was A Young Kid.

I Notice That A Little Bit At The Office, With, Like, An Actor: If I Decided There'd Be A Certain Way In The Script, It Would Still Seem Open-ended, Whereas ... If I Was A Man I Would Not Have Seen That.

What? I Have A Cold. Don’t Get A Look Of Terror On Your Face. The Worst That Could Happen Is That You’ll Get A Cold, Too. You Don’t Have To Theatrically Purell A Thousand Times A Day And Look All Panicky Every Time I Come Into The Room.

There Are Little Indian Girls Out There Who Look Up To Me, And I Never Want To Belittle The Honor Of Being An Inspiration To Them. But While I’m Talking About Why I’m So Different, White Male Show Runners Get To Talk About Their Art. I Always Get Asked, ‘where Do You Get Your Confidence?’ I Think People Are Well Meaning, But It’s Pretty Insulting. Because What It Means To Me Is, ‘you, Mindy Kaling, Have All The Trappings Of A Very Marginalized Person. You’re Not Skinny, You’re Not White, You’re A Woman. Why On Earth Would You Feel Like You’re Worth Anything?’

If I Can Muster Up Any Allure In My Life, At This Stage, I Wouldn't Mind Doing That.