I Rented A Car. I Didn't Really

I Was On A Bus Once, It Was In The Middle Of The Night, And I Had A Box Of Crackers And A Can Of Easy Cheese. It Was Dark, And It Was A Surprise How Much Cheese I Had Applied On Each Cracker. That's Why They Should Have A Glow-in-the-dark Version Of Easy Cheese. It's Not Like The Product Has Any Integrity To Begin With. If You Buy A Room-temperature Cheese That You Squeeze Out Of A Can, You Probably Won't Get Mad Because It Glows In The Dark Too.

I Was In A Convenience Store, Reading A Magazine. The Clerk Told Me, "this Is Not A Library!" "ok! I Will Talk Louder, Then!"

A Sleeping Bag Is A Tortilla For A Human.

Foosball Screwed Up My Perception Of Soccer. I Though You Had To Kick The Ball And Then Spin Around And Around. I Can't Do A Back Flip, Much Less Several Simultaneously With Two Other Guys.

Spaghetti... I Can't Eat Spaghetti, There's Too Many Of Them. No Matter How Hungry I Am, 1,000 Of Something Is Too Many. I'll Have 1,000 Pieces Of Noodles.