I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream...

If The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Then Why Does It Hurt When I Spray Them With Windex?

Give A Man A Fish And He'll Eat For A Day. Give A Man A Sub-prime Fish Loan And You're In Business, Buddy.

I'm A Satirist, So I've Got Boxing Gloves On If The Person Is Worthy Of Satire. But I'm Not An Assassin.

It Is A Well Known Fact That Reality Has Liberal Bias.

Researchers From Britain's Keele University Have Found That Swearing After An Injury May Help Alleviate Pain. Evidently, The Pain That You Feel Is Inversely Proportional To The Number Of Middle Names You Give Jesus.