I Sometimes Read Books On My Ipad.

I've Wasted A Lot Of Time Pretending To Be Interested In People Who Weren't Terribly Interesting.

You Really Burden The Reader If You Put Things In But, "oh, It's Not Interesting, But I'll Put It In Anyway." Then The Reader's Going To Think, Like, "mmm... No Thanks." So The Thing Is To Cut All That Stuff Out Before Its Published.

College Is The Best Thing That Can Ever Happen To You," My Father Used To Say, And He Was Right, For It Was There That I Discovered Drugs, Drinking, And Smoking.

Sometimes People Say, Do You Want A Drink? And I Say, Oh, I'd Like To, But I'm A Tragic Alcoholic. I Always Say Tragic. I'm A Tragic Alcoholic.

I've Never Gone On Facebook And Am Not Sure I Understand It. The Same Goes For Twitter. I Have Someone Sending Tweets And Pretending To Be Me, But I Don't Know Why.