I Spend So Much Time On The

What's Cool About Twitter Is That You Can Make A Joke About Something Very Of-the-moment Or Random That I Wouldn't Be Able To Joke About In Stand-up.

Instead Of Yelling Your Opinion, Or Telling People To Shut Up, Or Engaging In This Clickbait-internet Culture, Have A Dialogue With Someone And Ask People Questions And Listen To What They Have To Say.

Do You Realize How Much Better The World Would Be If We All Just Treated Each Other The Same Way Black Dudes Treat Magicians?

I Spend So Much Time On The Internet...i Feel Like I'm A Million Pages Into The Worst Book Ever, And I'm Never Going To Stop Reading.

Yes, I'm Married. But My Wife Understands That A Good Politician Has To Be Appealing To The Ladies. The Fact That I Haven't Even Gotten Close To Cheating On Her Is A Disappointment To Us Both.