I Suppose The Best Comedy Shows Do

It's True That I Have Spoken About Doing A Book Before, But Then Everyone You Speak To Is Planning To Write A Book.

If You Covered A Broom Handle With Oil And Shoved It Up My Arse, Then Put Me On A Trampoline, In A Lift, I Could Write A Better Song On The Walls.

Money Can't Buy You Love, But It Can Get You Some Really Good Chocolate Ginger Biscuits.

I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything Else And There Weren't Any Formal Application Forms You Had To Fill In For Stand-up, So I Thought I'd Give That A Twist.

I Need A Healthy Injection Of Cynicism Right Now.