I Tell Jokes For A Check; I'm

The First Time I Saw My Wife, Marjorie, I Was Doing Stand-up In Memphis, And She Was Sitting In The Front Row. Afterward, I Walked Up And Said, "ma'am, I'm Going To Marry You One Day". And 15 Years Later, I Did.

You Can Be Happy, Or You Can Be Right. If You Want To Be Part Of A Couple And Win Every Argument, You're In Trouble.

Being On A Comedy Tour Is Like Traveling With Family, Everyone Is All Having A Great Time... Then All Of A Sudden It Turns Sour. One Thing Gets Said Out Of Turn, And Everyone Is On Everyone's Last Nerve. After An Hour Of Silence, We All Start Laughing About It.

Sometimes We Don't Appreciate Prayer Until We Have To Go Through Something!

I Just Believe If You Don't Believe In God, Then Where Is Your Moral Barometer? That's Just Me Talking. You Can Believe What You Want To Believe.