I Think Extreme Sports Are Really Good

I Was Doing Sketches That Were Funny But Socially Irresponsible. I Felt I Was Deliberately Being Encouraged And I Was Overwhelmed.

You Know You Must Be Doing Something Right If Old People Like You.

At The Time, I Was Reading This Miles Davis Book, And He Was Talking About Coming To New York Right After He Was In High School. It Kind Of Made Me Feel Like, "yeah." I Didn't Want To Go To College; I Wanted To Do Stand-up. And I Figured, "what's The Point Of Doing Stand-up Around Dc? I'm Always Going To Be Under-appreciated There Because I Started There." I Felt Like I Was Strong Enough And Unique Enough That I Should Give It A Big Leash To Shine. New York Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me As A Comedian.

I Have All These Weird Fantasies. Going Coast-to-coast On My Motorcycle And Having Random Barbecues All Over America. No Show, No Nothing.

Somebody Broke Into My House Once, This Is A Good Time To Call The Police, But Mm Mm, Nope. The House Was Too Nice. It Was A Real Nice House, But They'd Never Believe I Lived In It. They'd Be Like 'he's Still Here!