I Think I'd Be A Really Good

[if Donald Trump Does Get Elected, I Will Be] Probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I Don't Know. I'll Probably End Up Working In The Cafeteria.

As Far As Just My Stand-up Is Concerned, I Don't Care About Changing Anyone's Mind. I'm Not Making An Argument. I'm A Guy Doing Comedy.

I Have A Few Business Ideas (that I'm Going To Advertise In High Times, Amongst Other Places), And One Of Them Is A Service In Which I Offer To Eat And Describe Pork To Kosher People.

I Have Always Tried To Use Humor To "help Ever" And "hurt Never," For I Find That To Laugh Is Like Swallowing A Secret That Santa Claus Farted.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Is One Of The Funniest Shows On Tv And I Was A Little Intimidated Working With Those Guys 'cause You're In A Sound Booth By Yourself And They're All In A Room In Atlanta.