I Think I'm A Different Person With

I Want Barack Obama For President. I Love Obama. I Call Palin The Helicopter Huntress From Hell! I Want My Children To Have A Wonderful Future, And It's Disturbing When I Look Around. Americans Aren't Very Well-liked. A Likable President Would Be A Great Start.

Whenever I See A Homeless Guy, I Always Run Back And Give Him Money, Because I Think, 'oh My God, What If That Was Jesus?'

I Have To Meet Someone Who Loves Children And Who Loves Ex-husbands And Implants.

I Know My Mom Still Wears Lingerie And Jumps Out Of Closets To Scare My Dad. She's Always Joked That She Tries To Give Him A Heart Attack So She Can Get His Coin Collection. But Now She's Actually Worried That She Might Give Him A Heart Attack. And The Coin Collection May Not Exist, So She's Being Gentler On Him.

I Feel Like I'm In The Best Shape Of My Life At 45 ... I Didn't Know This Exercise Thing Felt So Good.