I Think If You're A 'tiger Parent'

Parenting Is The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Done. I Tried To Find The Balance Between The Strict, Traditional Chinese Way I Was Raised, Which I Think Can Be Too Harsh, And What I See As A Tendency In The West To Be Too Permissive And Indulgent. If I Could Do It All Again, I Would, With Some Adjustments.

I Was Raised, Myself, By Extremely Strict But Also Extremely Loving Chinese Immigrant Parents. To This Day, I Believe That Their Having High Expectations For Me, Coupled With Love, Was The Greatest Gift That Anyone's Ever Given Me. And So That's Why, Even Though My Husband Is Not Chinese, I Try To Raise My Own Two Daughters The Same Way.

When I Was Little, My Parents Really Only Wanted Me To Be A Scientist Or A Doctor; They Had Never Even Heard Of Law School. I Think Even These Days If You Were To Tell Your Mother You Want To Be A Fashion Designer, Or An Artist Or A Writer, A Lot Of Asian Parents Would Be Alarmed Because They Don't Think That's A Secure Career.

What Chinese Parents Understand Is That Nothing Is Fun Until You're Good At It. Pg 29

Real Self-esteem Has To Be Earned. I Also Believe In Virtuous Circles, Like, Nothing Is Fun Until You Are Good At It. It Is Great If You Can Instill In Children The Ability To Not Give Up, To Have A Work Ethic.