I Think Of My Body As A

I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary Friend.

Some Mornings, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

Some Comedians Change Their Style, Often To Their Advantage; But I See No Reason Why I Can't Continue With The "urbane Sophisticate" 'til The Day I Die.

But I Like To Swim. At High School, I Tried Out For The Swim Team. I Shaved Off All My Body Hair, And That Extra Burst Of Speed From All The Bullies Shouting Kill The Fairy.

Sometimes My Mother Goes Through My Socks And Underwear. I Wouldn't Mind, But It Tickles So Much!