I Thought I Was Funny As A

If You Want To Get A Pet For Your Child, I Suggest A Chicken So That When They Get Bored Of It After A Couple Of Days At Least You Can Have A Nice Roast Dinner.

As A Comic And As A Nurse, It's Important To Look Calm On The Surface When You're Absolutely Crapping Yourself Inside. So, If Someone Is Waving A Machete At You, Which Has Happened To Me When I Was A Nurse, It's Important To Make That Person Feel That You're In Control.

It's Got Too Much Hard Work Slapping Them And Telling Them To Shut Up.

If You're A Fat Person - And Especially If You're A Woman - At All Stages Of Your Life You'll Get Abuse For It, So You Have To Work Out A Way Of Dealing With It. The Best Way Is To Be Humorous About It - That Defuses Any Tension.

Having Children Is Fab. They Keep Me Young And Make Me Get Up In The Morning.