I Thought You'd Like It," He Said,

Great. Now I Was Starting To Get Jealous Of Myself.

...men Aren't In Touch With Their Emotions, And Don't Share Enough [?]

We Were A Very Funny Family. Humour Was The Tool With Which My Brother And I Tried To Get Attention. We Were Always Trying To Be The Funniest.

I Used To Draw And Illustrate, But I Don't Do That Anymore Because I Just Like To Write. I Like To Leave The Illustrations To Actual Professional Illustrators.

This Was Very Exciting. I'd Never Had Two Boys Get Into A Fight Over Me Before. The Fact That One Of The Boys Was My Stepbrother, However, And Held About As Much Romantic Appeal For Me As Max, The Family Dog, Somewhat Dampened My Enthusiasm. And Michael Wasn't Much Of A Catch, Either, When You Actually Thought About It, Being A Potential Murderer And All. Oh, Why Did I Have To Have Such A Couple Of Losers Fighting Over Me? Why Couldn't Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Fight Over Me? Now That Would Be Truly Excellent.