I Try Not To Tune In To

I Think That Parents Only Get So Offended By Television Because They Rely On It As A Babysitter And The Sole Educator Of Their Kids.

A Scotch Buzz Is The Best Buzz In The World.

Even From The Very Beginning, I Didn't Put Any Money In The Stock Market.

It's An Afghanistan Goat, So It Can't Stay Here, Or Else It'll Choke On The Sweet Air Of Freedom.

When I Was In Sixth Grade There Was A Talent Show, And I Wrote My First Sketch, 'the Dentist.' I Played The Dentist, And I Had My Friend Play A Patient. It Was Sort Of What Can Go Wrong At The Dentist, And I Just Remember I Had Lots Of Fake Blood And Everything.