I've Always Been Old At Heart.

Your Responsibility As A Parent Is Not As Great As You Might Imagine. You Need Not Supply The World With The Next Conqueror Of Disease Or Major Motion Picture Star. If Your Child Simply Grows Up To Be Someone Who Does Not Use The Word "collectible" As A Noun, You Can Consider Yourself An Unqualified Success.

There Is One Thing That Has Disappeared, Not Just From The U.s. But From The Entire World, Is The Idea Of Ever Being Embarrassed By Anything.

I'm Not A Communist. I'm An American. I'm A Capitalist. I Mean, I'm Not A Very Good Capitalist, Myself. I'm Not Very Good At It, But It's Not That I'm Not For Capitalism. But People Who Believe In Things Like Corporate Citizenship, It's Idiotic. I Mean, It Shows You're An Idiot.

Being Offended Is A Natural Consequence Of Leaving The House.

I, Unfortunately, Take The Subway A Lot. It's Not My Preference, But It Is My Lot In Life.