I've Always Had That Chip On My

I’m The One Who Looks At The Infant, Smiles Nervously, And As My Contribution To Small Talk, Robotically Announces To The Parent, “your Child Looks Healthy And Well Cared For.

Colored Leather Is My Favorite. To Me, There's Nothing More Fun Than Wearing A Cobalt Blue Leather Skirt Or A Fuchsia Leather Jacket.

I Sort Of Refuse To Be An Outsider, Even Though I Know That I Very Much Look Like One To A Lot Of People, And I Refuse To View Myself In Such Terms.

Teenage Girls, Please Don’t Worry About Being Super Popular In High School, Or Being The Best Actress In High School, Or The Best Athlete. Not Only Do People Not Care About Any Of That The Second You Graduate, But When You Get Older, If You Reference Your Successes In High School Too Much, It Actually Makes You Look Kind Of Pitiful, Like Some Babbling Old Tennessee Williams Character With Nothing Else Going On In Her Current Life. What I’ve Noticed Is That Almost No One Who Was A Big Star In High School Is Also Big Star Later In Life. For Us Overlooked Kids, It’s So Wonderfully Fair.

I Regard Romantic Comedies As A Subgenre Of Sci-fi, In Which The World Operates According To Different Rules Than My Regular Human World.