I've Always Wanted To Be An Actor.

We Wrote About Having Five Kids And Bringing Them To Church. A Journalist At The Washington Post Wrote This Article Where The Headline Was "the New Catholic Evangelism Of Jim Gaffigan." And It Was A Bit Terrifying.

Once You Put Bacon Into A Salad It's No Longer A Salad, It Just Becomes A Game Of Find The Bacon In The Lettuce. It's Like You're Panning For Gold, Hmmmmm, Eureka!

It's Good To Be Back In New York. I Have Lived Here Ten Years. I'm Originally From Indiana. I Know What Most Of You Are Thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But The Fact Of The Matter Is Where I Grew Up There Was Something Very Similar To The Mafia: 4-h.

Oh Great, Socks. You Know I'm Dying For Your Sins Right? Yeah, But Thanks For The Socks! They'll Go Great With My Sandals. What Am I, German?

Imagine You're Drowning, And Someone Hands You A Baby.