I've Been Meaning To Write About The

I Think I Might Be One Of The Only People In America, Or At Least The Only Person I Know, Who Saw Both 'the Dark Knight' And 'mamma Mia!' On Their Shared Opening Weekend.

Fact: The New '90210' Is Cooler Than The Old '90210.' It's The Lithe, Streamlined Skipper To The Elder Series' Venerable Barbie. Gone Are The Traditional Parents - They've Been Replaced By A Hipster Mom N' Pop Who Get Busted Necking In The Car.

People Have Always Wanted To Be Recognized, And That's Human Nature. But People Used To Want To Be Recognized For Their Accomplishments, And Now They Simply Want To Be Visible.

The Fashion Industry Isn't Merely Content To Encase My Meaty Flanks In Skintight Denim. Oh, No! That Denim Also Has To Be White, A Color That Attracts Ketchup, Wine, Garlic Aioli, And Any Other Foodstuffs I Might Otherwise Be Able To Enjoy If I Wasn't Wearing Ridiculously Tight Pants.

I Don't Have A Terrible Singing Voice, But I Also Wouldn't Call It 'good.' I Can Carry A Tune.