I've Decided To Take Up Smoking, My

In Talking To Girls I Could Never Remember The Right Sequence Of Things To Say. I'd Meet A Girl And Say, Hi, Was It Good For You Too? If A Girl Spent The Night, I'd Wake Up In The Morning And Then Try To Get Her Drunk.

I Am A Wild And Crazy Guy!

I Just Respected Comedians Whether They Were Or They Weren't, From, You Know, New Or Old.

I'm Not Vegas. Places I Play Usually Cost Like $3 To Get In, You Know, And People Are Going: Gee, I've Got $3, I Think I'll Throw It Away.

They Want Me On The Television Shows Now Because I Did So Well On Celebrity Assholes.