I've Had A Ton Of Fast-food Jobs

My Mother Told Me Homer Ditto Was Not My Father. Nope. Mom Had Had A Fling With Some Other Guy Who Was My Dad. Some Dude Who Didn't Stick Around Too Long Who Mom Was Happy To Get Rid Of. She Chose Homer, And Homer Chose Me, So He Lent Me His Name Even Though I Didn't Have His Blood.

I'm Not Sure That I Am Able To Feel Embarrassment.

I Shave My Body In All Kinds Of Ways, Wear Tons Of Eyeliner And Dye My Hair Pink.

I Don't Get Mad With People, Like, 'oh, But That's Not What The Song Was About...' It's Also Nice To Know That People Are Mindlessly Dancing To A Song About The Us Government's Stance On Same-sex Marriages... Especially Straight Jocks. I Love That Idea. I Think That's The Beauty Of Music - It's Different For Everybody.

Here Is My Prescription To Heal All Wounds. Watch The Film Funny Girl At Least Five Times, Eat At Least 45 Chocolate Bars, And Hang Out With All Those Friends You Blew Off To Hang Out With Your Ex. I Truly Believe That, Through A Combination Of Nutella, Old Pals And Barbra Streisand, We Can Achieve Happiness And, Very Probably, World Peace.