I've Had Great Success Being A Total

I Have A Loyalty That Runs In My Bloodstream, When I Lock Into Someone Or Something, You Can't Get Me Away From It Because I Commit That Thoroughly. That's In Friendship, That's A Deal, That's A Commitment. Don't Give Me Paper - I Can Get The Same Lawyer Who Drew It Up To Break It. But If You Shake My Hand, That's For Life.

If You're An Old Pro, You Know How Well You're Doing When You're Doing It, And Your Inner Government Spanks You If You're Not Doing Well.

From 1936 On, I Have Taken More Falls Than Any Other 20 Comedians Put Together. From The Time I Was 21, I've Taken Them On Everything From Clay Courts To Cement To Wood Floors, Coming Off Pianos, Going Out A Two-story Window, Landing On Dean, Falling Into The Rough. You Do That And You're Gonna Have Problems.

I Never Got A Formal Education. So My Intellect Is My Common Sense. I Don't Have Anything Else Going For Me. And My Common Sense Opens The Door To Instinct.

People Think I'm Against Critics Because They Are Negative To My Work. That's Not What Bothers Me. What Bothers Me Is They Didn't See The Work. I Have Seen Critics Print Stuff About Stuff I Cut Out Of The Film Before We Ran It. So Don't Tell Me About Critics.