I've Never Been A Fan Of Euphemism.

I Used To Do Bell Ringing In Benenden Church. It Was Really Good Fun, Actually. My Best Friend's Dad Was The Local Vicar, And So It Was Expected As Her Best Friend That I Would Go To Church Every Sunday With Her.

The Comedian Sticks As Religiously To Her Theme As A Dancer Sticks To A Diet.

When You Cry, You Don't Look Very Attractive; You Look Snotty And Blotchy. People Seem To Manage To Cry Quite Prettily These Days, And To Me, That Smacks Of Not Being Very Genuine.

Let's Face It: I Am Not A Professional Runner.

And I Also Felt That No One In An Audience Could Abuse Me Worse Than The Sort Of Abuse I Had Had At Work As A Psychiatric Nurse.