I Want A President Who Can Handle

We Love America Just As Much As They Do. But In A Different Way. You See, They Love America Like A 4-year-old Loves His Mommy. Liberals Love America Like Grown-ups. To A 4-year-old, Everything Mommy Does Is Wonderful And Anyone Who Criticizes Mommy Is Bad. Grown-up Love Means Actually Understanding What You Love, Taking The Good With The Bad And Helping Your Loved One Grow.

I Know That It's Probably Not A Good Idea For A Comedian, Especially A Satirist, To Support A Public Policy Group Or A Politician. This Is Something I Learned Only Too Well Years Ago When I Did A Fundraiser For Pol Pot. A Few Years Later I Saw 'the Killing Fields,' And I've Got To Tell You, I Just Felt Like A Schmuck.

When You Live In New York, One Of Two Things Happen - You Either Become A New Yorker, Or You Feel More Like The Place You Came From.

Part Of The Middle Class Promise Is That, After A Lifetime Of Hard Work, You'll Be Able To Retire And Enjoy The Fruits Of That Labor. Medicare Was Established To Secure That Promise.

Progressives, In A Way, Are The New Conservatives. We Want To Conserve What We Fought To Build.