I Want To Be Known As A

You Know What I Learned About Hawaiians? They're Just Blown Up Mexicans!

I'm Not On A Diet. And It's Funny Cause People Go 'well, Then Why Do You Drink Diet Soda?' So I Can Eat Regular Cake.

People Can Relate To Someone Who Isn't Perfect.

And I Don't Want You Thinking That My Girlfriend Is A Bad Person. She Is An Amazing Woman, The Fact That I Only Have Seven Stories About Her In Eight Years, Says A Lot. You Know, Don't Get Me Wrong, Five Of Them Happened This Year, But That's Still Way Below The Bar, You Know What I Am Saying.

I'm Always Very Happy To Talk To People. I Relate To People, And The Guy On Stage Is Very Much The Guy That's Off Stage. People Know When It's Fake.