I Want To Rob A Bank With

I Like Wearing Necklaces, Because It Lets Me Know When I'm Upside Down.

I Guess The One-liner Kind Of Comic Sounds Like A Guy Who Can Talk And Talk And Whatever The Subject Is, He Can Pull Out A One-liner, But I Couldn't Do That. I Didn't Like The Association. I Mean, I Love Steven Wright, But So Many People Started Saying "steven Wright" To Me, And I Would Get Mad, Because I Never Wanted To Be Thought Of As Copying Anybody.

You Know When You See An Advertisement For A Casino, And They Have A Picture Of A Guy Winning Money? That's False Advertising, Because That Happens The Least. That's Like If You're Advertising A Hamburger, They Could Show A Guy Choking. "this Is What Happened Once."

It's Hard To Dance If You Just Lost Your Wallet. Whoa Where's My Wallet But, Hey This Song Is Funky.

When You Go To A Bar That Has A Black Light, Everybody Looks Cool. Except For Me, Because I Was Under The Impression That The Mustard Stain Came Out.