I Wanted To Buy A Candle Holder,

I'm Against Picketing, But I Don't Know How To Show It.

I'm Sick Of Following My Dreams. I'm Just Going To Ask Them Where They're Goin', And Hook Up With Them Later.

I Hate Turkeys. If You Stand In The Meat Section At The Grocery Store Long Enough, You Start To Get Mad At Turkeys. There's Turkey Ham, Turkey Bologna, Turkey Pastrami. Some One Needs To Tell The Turkey, 'man, Just Be Yourself.'

I Saw A Commercial For An Above-ground Pool, It Was 30 Seconds Long. Because That's The Maximum Amount Of Time You Can Picture Yourself Having Fun In An Above-ground Pool. If It Was 31 Seconds, The Actor Would Say "the Water Is Only Up To Here? What Do I Do Now? Throw The Ball Back To Jimmy? Or Put Some Goggles On And Look At His Feet?"

Why Is Cloud 9 So Amazing? What Is Wrong With Cloud 8? That Joke Came Off The Top Of My Head, And The Top Of My Head Ain't Funny!