I Wanted To Kill Her And Make

The Tannoy Is Crackling But I Can Only Hear Heavy Breathing And Snuffling. ... Uh-oh, The Tannoy Is Crackling Again. "sorry About That, Ladies And Gentlemen, I Momentarily Lost Hold Of My Pie.

I Wanted To Kill Her And Make Her Eat Her Fringe. And Her Knickers.

My Cousin Georgia Says That Boys Are Like Gazelles. She Says The Get Alarmed When They Get Close To Girls. And They Have To Leap Off Into The Woods Like Gazelles In Trousers. Or Have I Just Made That Up?

There He Is, Tall, Tanned, Italian, Sophisticated. So What Do You Do?" I Said, "er, Leap On Him And Snog Him Within An Inch Of His Life? Taking Care Not To Strangle Myself On His False Beard, Or Disturb His Banana.

Here Is Another Marvy Glimpse Into The Gothic Basement That I Call My Mind.