I Was A Hip Kid. When I

Swimming Is Not A Sport. Swimming Is A Way To Keep From Drowning. That's Just Common Sense!

If I Ever Lose My Mind I Hope Some Honest Person Will Find It And Take It To Lost And Found.

And Now, In The Interest Of Equal Time, Here Is A Message From The National

I Don't Like The Phrase Shock Value. Surprise Is Essential In Comedy, And If People Are Shocked By What I Consider Merely Surprising, Then That's Their Shock. But There Is No Joke Without Surprise.

No One Is More Himself Than The Moment When He's Laughing At A Joke. It's At Those Moments That People's Defenses Go Down, And That's When You Can Slip In A Good Idea.