I Was Born Too Late For Steam

People Say That You Always Have To Tell The Truth. But They Do Not Mean This Because You Are Not Allowed To Tell Old People That They Are Old And You Are Not Allowed To Tell People If They Smell Funny Or If A Grown-up Has Made A Fart. And You Are Not Allowed To Say, 'i Don't Like You,' Unless That Person Has Been Horrible To You.

Eventually Scientists Will Discover Something That Explains Ghosts, Just Like They Discovered Electricity, Which Explained Lightning, And It Might Be Something About People's Brains, Or Something About The Earth's Magnetic Field, Or It Might Be Some New Force Altogether. And Then Ghosts Won't Be Mysteries. They Will Be Like Electricity And Rainbows And Nonstick Frying Pans.

All The Other Children At My School Are Stupid. Except I'm Not Meant To Call Them Stupid, Even Though This Is What They Are.

But I Don't Feel Sad About It. Because Mother Is Dead. And Because Mr. Shears Isn't Around Anymore. So I Would Be Feeling Sad About Something That Isn't Real And Doesn't Exist. And That Would Be Stupid.

And Father Said, "christopher, Do You Understand That I Love You?" And I Said "yes," Because Loving Someone Is Helping Them When They Get Into Trouble, And Looking After Them, And Telling Them The Truth, And Father Looks After Me When I Get Into Trouble, Like Coming To The Police Station, And He Looks After Me By Cooking Meals For Me, And He Always Tells Me The Truth, Which Means That He Loves Me.