I Was Doing Comedy In Laundry Mats

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

I'm Quitting The Business Today. I'm Going To Open Up An Appliance Store, I've Always Really Been Into Toasters. I'm Giving It All Up.

I Saw A Young Boy Eating An Ice Cream Cone, ... I Smashed It In His Face. You Know That Kid Is Going To Remember Me When He's 50.

Losing My Mind Sounds So Pessimistic. I Prefer The Term Winning My Insanity.

When I First Hit The Scene, It Was Just A Lot Of Go, Go, Go, Go, Go. I Have A Lot Of Natural Energy Anyway, But It Was Over The Top.