I Went Grey At 12, My Eyesight

I Don't Like This Idea Of Division: That If You're A Clever Woman Then You've Got To Be A Particular Way. Because Men Don't. Men Please Themselves.

Failed Relationships Can Be Described As So Much Wasted Makeup. Forget The Laughs, Forget The Fights, Forget The Sex, Forget The Jealousy. But Take Off Your Hat And Observe A Moment's Silence For The Legions Of Unknown Tubes Of Foundation, Mascara, Eyeliner, Blusher And Lipstick Who Died That It Might All Have Been Possible. But Who Died In Vain.

Relationship Gurus Always Said That An Attraction Based On Friendship And Mutual Respect Was Far More Likely To Stay The Course - And The Bastards Were Right.

I've Always Been Melancholic. At A Party, Everyone Would Be Looking At The Glittering Chandeliers And I'd Be Looking At The Waitress's Cracked Shoes.

No More Humiliation For Me, Thanks Very Much. No More Swallowing My Anger. Honestly, I Couldn't Manage Another Mouthful. But It Was Delicious. Did You Make It Yourself?