I Went To The Un And Even

Concussion? How The Hell Can They Tell? They're *football* Players, For Chrissakes!

Teresa Lewis, The Only Woman On Death Row In Virginia, Says She Doesn't Deserve The Death Penalty Because She Only Hired The Killers Of Her Husband And Stepson, She Didn't Actually Pull The Trigger Herself. You Know, She Has A Point. I Think We Should Let Her Be Able To Hire The Person Who Executes Her, And Not Do Yourself In! How's That, Doll? Yeah! Get It Over With Quick, Maybe Charlize Theron Will Sign Up To Play You.

I Had Fun Pretending To Be A Sportscaster. People Always Think That Was A Down Thing For Me. I Had The Best Job In Sports Broadcasting For Two Years.

Human Beings Are Human Beings. They Say What They Want, Don't They? They Used To Say It Across The Fence While They Were Hanging Wash. Now They Just Say It On The Internet.

Some People Like To Travel By Train Because It Combines The Slowness Of A Car With The Cramped Public Exposure Of An Airplane.