I Went To The Un And Even

The White House Looked Into A Plan That Would Allow Illegal Immigrants To Stay In The United States. The Plan Called For A Million Mexicans To Marry A Million Of Our Ugliest Citizens.

After September 11th, Freedom Of Speech In America Has Become A Topic That's Touchier Than A Vatican Summer Camp.

I Still Feel Pangs Of Remorse Over An Insidious Habit I've Had Since I Was A Teenager. About Three Times A Week, I Attend Estate Auctions And Make Insulting, Low-ball Bids For Prized Heirlooms Until I'm Asked To Leave.

The Current Tax Code Is Harder To Understand Than Bob Dylan Reading Finnegans Wake In A Wind Tunnel.

How Do We Know For Sure That No Two Snowflakes Are The Same - We Haven't Got Anybody Watching.